A night you would not remember
by Playing in Traffic
Summary: FINISHED! Sano and Kenshin get drunk after a victory, and they get quite strange. (NOT yaoi)
1. Sano's Version of a Celebration

A/N: Ok.I'm so tired, I feel drunk, so I just wanted to write something relating to just that. Besides the fact that I'm dazed, I like writing stories that make no sense. ^_^ Enjoy it if possible.  
  
Disclaimer: Ok.I don't own the rights to sake, the Akabeko, Tae, Kenshin, Sano, or anything regarding walls. Besides, if I had enough money to own the rights to Rurouni Kenshin, I wouldn't be writing a fan fiction, would I? I would be making more episodes. ^_^  
  
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Chapter 1: Sano's version of a celebration  
  
After Kenshin and Sanosuke successfully defended the Akabeko from a large group of thugs, Sano suggested that they celebrate with some Sake inside. Kenshin refused because he had no money, but Sano insisted, saying he would cover the bill. Kenshin agreed, but stated he would only have one cup.  
  
After Kenshin had drunk his cup (and Sano, his five), he insisted they go home. "Oi, Kenshin. Stick around for a bit!" He yelled rather drunkenly. "The drinks are on me, remember? Don't shoot a friend down like you're not ready to find the worm." Kenshin was highly puzzled by this. "Sano, I think you've had too much to drink, that I do." He said as he rubbed the back of his head.  
  
"No, my friend." Sano said with a smirk. "I think you've had too LITTLE to drink!" He grabbed Kenshin, laid him flat on the ground, and started pouring sake into his mouth. Kenshin quickly sat up after swallowing a large amount of sake. To his surprise, he felt entirely normal.  
  
"Sanosuke." Kenshin said. "We need to get back to-" But a hiccup cut him off.  
  
"Feeling better, Kenshin?" Sano asked with a large smirk. "Don't you feel like you're lighter on your feet now?"  
  
Kenshin turned, viewing the surrounding walls of the Akabeko, which appeared to bend in odd places. Kenshin began laughing at the walls.  
  
"Sano. What is this?" Kenshin asked as he pointed to the wall closest to him. "It looks like."  
  
"A leper patient?" Sano suggested. "Megumi has had a few of them before."  
  
Kenshin snorted. "I was thinking more like a river full of bunnies."  
  
"In any case, it's no use worrying whether she likes ice-skating or not, so don't talk to her about England." Sano told his empty cup. "Oi, Kenshin. I think our drinks ran off with each other." He chuckled.  
  
Kenshin stood up and started stumbling to the door.  
  
"Where are you going Kenshin?" Sano slurred into a question.  
  
Kenshin stood in the doorway and hung his head low. "I need to get a fruit bowl of Cracker Jacks." He exited and walked around the corner, while Sano remained in his seat. He sat there talking to his cup, until he heard Kenshin heaving all over the sidewalk just outside the Akabeko. Sano began laughing. He had never seen Kenshin like this before.  
  
Kenshin walked 10 feet from the Akabeko when Tae grabbed him by the back of his kimono.  
  
"I will not allow drunks from this restaurant to wander around." Tae said as she dragged Kenshin back inside. She sat him back on the floor and laughed. "I can't believe Sanosuke did this to you." She ran off to take care of other business, leaving Kenshin to himself.  
  
Kenshin observed his surroundings once again. He spotted something across from him, about 6 feet away. His vision was blurred and he couldn't make out what it was. As he approached the white blob, Kenshin extended his hand to touch it. Being drunk, he had no control over his strength. So, instead of touching it, he poked it rather hard. It gave off a loud yell. It had been Sanosuke.  
  
"Kenshin? Why are you giving off large fumes of hazel aroma?" he asked.  
  
Kenshin sat there, ignoring everything around him.  
  
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A/N: Ok, you know what I'm like now. So, how do you like it? Too strange? Too Drunk? Maybe just wrong? Tell me what you think, I want to know if I should continue this. ^_^ 


	2. Don't Lick the Blade

A/N: All right.the last time I wrote this, my mind was wandering. Now, I'm wide-awake and I'm going to try to be a little more creative. ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: Believe it or not, I don't even know WHO owns Kenshin. I just like the show, so I'm writing fan fiction. If I owned the rights to the show, I'd be sitting pretty. ^_^  
  
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Chapter 2: Don't lick the blade  
  
Sano had not been as drunk as Kenshin, simply because he was used to large doses of sake. He had not lost his senses as much as Kenshin, but he still felt the effects. After they sat in the same spot for a few minutes, Sanosuke stood up, walked over to Kenshin, and flung him over his shoulder.  
  
"We need to get you home, that we do." Sano said, oddly sounding like Kenshin. "If you stay here, you're bound to catch a case of epilepsy." He carried Kenshin outside, and down the streets of Tokyo.  
  
Kenshin was limp, hanging over Sanosuke's shoulder. He let out an occasional hiccup, the only sign he was still alive. "Orororoooo" he groaned weakly, trying to release himself from Sano's grasp.  
  
"OI! KENSHIN!" Sano mumbled. He had trouble keeping hold of Kenshin, because he couldn't keep his own balance. Suddenly, he stopped and dropped Kenshin flat on his face.  
  
"URRRRRG!" Kenshin yelled as he slammed into the ground.  
  
Sanosuke ran into an alleyway close by. Kenshin could hear Sano coughing, then the splash of liquid hitting the road. He started laughing at Sano. "I've never seen you this drunk, baka."  
  
Sano rushed out of the alleyway, the front of his shirt wet and disgusting. "Did you call me baka?!" he yelled. As he neared Kenshin, Sano tripped.  
  
"Baka." Kenshin said once again. "Taihen baka."  
  
"Oi.Kenshin." Sano said weakly. "Why'd you go Japanese on me? You're supposed to speak English."  
  
Kenshin's eyebrows twitched. "Demo.demo." He had been confused. "Oi, baka." Kenshin imitated Sano. "You did that on purpose."  
  
"Did what?" Sanosuke asked, face still planted in the dirt.  
  
"You think I'm part of the paper machete group, don't you?" Kenshin asked suspiciously.  
  
Sano couldn't help but burst out laughing. He sat up, but fell on his back in gales of laughter.  
  
Kenshin stared at him for a moment then turned his back to him. He suddenly noticed his sword. He unsheathed it and admired his reverse blade. "You, my friend, need a bath." Kenshin told his sword. He began licking it, as he had seen Saito do before.  
  
"OI! KENSHIN!" Sano said as he stood up. He appeared sober now. "DON'T LICK THE BLADE!"  
  
Kenshin stopped suddenly and held his sword out to Sano. "Do YOU want to give him a bath?"  
  
Sanosuke's expression turned from annoyance, to disgust, to drunk once again. "You're one strange monkey."  
  
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A/N: Ok.I'M one strange monkey. ^_^ Maybe you're strange too if you're actually reading this. If I get even ONE good review, I'll be happy. I'm doing this for the sake of laughs, so that's what I'm hoping to receive. If you're curious what will happen in the next chapter.let's just say that have no clue at all. I'm just as clueless about where they are going as they are. LOL 


	3. Shock! Reverse Blade Sword Named!

A/N: Ok.now things may just get a little crazier. In a chapter or two I think they're going to start sobering up, but we'll just have to see about that. ^_^ OH! If anyone has a problem with my content or if you think I'm making fun of Kenshin.go read some other fan fictions. I've read worse than this, so don't hassle me. ^_^ Sorry to sound rude, but I just wanted to get that over with. Ok.now for the little disclaimer thingy.  
  
Disclaimer: Who would assume I have money to purchase the rights? Well.even if I make up my own characters in these fan fictions, I may not claim my rights. I'm a pretty open guy, so I don't mind if someone uses my characters.but I WOULD like to know about it just in case someone questions you or me.  
  
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Chapter 3: Shock! Reverse Blade Sword Named!  
  
Kenshin stands in the middle of the road, loosely gripping his sword at his side.  
  
"Monkey" He stammers. "Watashi. Saru." Kenshin began laughing. Soon enough, his laughter turned into girlish giggling.  
  
Sano began laughing nervously at the sound of Kenshin giggling.  
  
Kenshin had his hand over his mouth in an attempt to cease giggling, but to no avail. It only amused him further, causing louder giggling. After many attempts to calm himself, Kenshin fell to the ground in loud gales of high- pitched laughing. He sounded remarkably like Kaoru.  
  
Sanosuke began backing away from the horrifying sight of Kenshin on the ground laughing his head off, his voice now as high as the Tokyo tower.which had been only a 20-foot high guard tower at the time.  
  
Kenshin began rolling in the dirt, laughing too hard to be audible. He held his stomach in another attempt to cease laughing.  
  
Sanosuke stared at Kenshin for 10 minutes straight. The only thing he could make out was a big, red and pink blob rolling around yelling. Frightened at the sight, Sano ran off, screaming like a girl, leaving Kenshin in his own space of amusement.  
  
"HADES HAS RISEN!" Sano yelled as he ran down the alleyways and roads of Tokyo. "HADES HAS RISEN! HADES HAS-ARGH!" He ran straight into a wall and plopped onto his back. Sano stared into the sky, which had the odd shape of a deformed sponge. He could make out colors of orange and green dancing in the clouds like dandelions in a field of mice. "Oi Kenshin!" he yelled. "Where'd you get the stew?"  
  
Kenshin, who remained on the ground, had just finished up his session of laughter. He too was staring into the sky of eyes. There were many eyes peering down on Kenshin, as if to insult him. Suddenly, the eyes grew smaller and a face became visible.  
  
"Baka apprentice!" His master had found him lying on the ground laughing. "What has gotten into you?" Hiko pulled Kenshin to his feet.  
  
"Monkey" Kenshin said, amused. He began laughing again, but not as hard.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Hiko roared.  
  
"Mon-monkey." Kenshin stuttered. "Baka monkey."  
  
Hiko stared deep into Kenshin's eyes. "You're drunk"  
  
"Just..a..little" Kenshin said slowly. "I had a few daisies, that I told my baka master"  
  
Hiko just stared at Kenshin, speechless. "Fine!" he yelled, throwing Kenshin back to the ground. "If you're going to be reckless, I'll have no choice but to take your sword away."  
  
"NO!" Kenshin screamed. He snatched his sword from the ground. "LEPROSY ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE!"  
  
Hiko looked dumbfounded. "You named your sword? YOU NAMED YOUR SWORD AFTER A DISEASE?" He laughed. "Well, it's an appropriate disease to name it after." He walked away, laughing, finally giving up on Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin began rubbing the side of the sword against his cheek. "Nothing will take my leprosy from me." He said contently.  
  
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A/N: Amused yet? I am. In case you didn't know, leprosy is a disease where your body parts can fall off. I'm not too clear on the whole thing, but it's pretty nasty. LOL. I hope you enjoyed that. More will be up before tomorrow is over, I'm sure. ^_^ I can't keep from writing for that long. 


	4. Kaoru has Leprosy

A/N: Leprosy. His sword is named after a horrible disease. Well, what do you expect from a drunken samurai? By the way, I just got back from the hospital with writing withdrawals. They said I should write more about drunks and oddities to prevent any more withdrawals. ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: Ok. Now I own the rights to the name Leprosy for Kenshin's sword, but not really. I can claim that I do, but I haven't purchased anything and I don't seriously claim leprosy as mine. LOL.  
  
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Chapter 4: Kaoru has Leprosy  
  
He looked very happy his master had not taken his Leprosy away. Kenshin had stroked his sword for about 2 minutes when he began singing his version of the Beatles song 'Let it be'.  
  
"When I find myself in times of trouble, Master Hiko comes to me, speaking words of insults. Baka deshi. And in my hour of darkness, he is standing right in front of me, speaking words of insults. Baka deshi." He began laughing at his new lyrics.  
  
Sano, who remained staring at the sky, still wondered where Kenshin had found the stew. Out of frustration, Sano yelled at Kenshin. "KENSHIN! WHERE'D YOU GO!?" He sat up, wondering if Kenshin had slipped into a void of rubber ducks. "I'd better check on him." He said as he attempted to stand, which was a bad idea. He slipped and hit his head hard on the road, knocking himself unconscious.  
  
Kenshin, on the other hand, had stood up straight and regained his balance, though still nowhere near sober. "I wish I could buy a new raccoon." He said to himself, smirking at the thought. He began walking, staring into the sky. "I wish Kaoru were here to see the sky."  
  
"I'm right here, Kenshin!" Kaoru yelled at him. "What are you doing out so late? Everyone is worried about you! And where's Sanosuke!?"  
  
Kenshin slowly turned around to face Kaoru, whose face was red with anger.  
  
"WELL?" she asked impatiently. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Monkey" he mumbled.  
  
Kaoru, angry with Kenshin, yelled, "Don't act stupid! Do you think you can avoid being dragged back to the dojo by confusing me?"  
  
Kenshin began walking towards Kaoru, managing to keep his balance fairly well.  
  
"Don't even try to-" Kaoru began.  
  
She was cut off when Kenshin fell towards Kaoru and wrapped his arms around her neck.  
  
Kaoru smiled, thinking she had been given a hug. "Kensin. I'm sorry I-" She was interrupted again, but this time by a loud hiccup.  
  
"KENSHIN! YOU'RE DRUNK!" she screamed.  
  
"Now. Don't assume. The worst. Of me" he said between hiccups, still slumped over Kaoru. "My mind is still the density of a pencil."  
  
Kaoru pushed him off of her shoulders and back on the ground. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?! This isn't like you, Kenshin!"  
  
"Leprosy." Kenshin said, staring at the ground.  
  
"Kenshin. You're not even making sense!" Kaoru stared at Kenshin, worried for his sanity.  
  
"Where is Leprosy?" he asked, searching in the dirt. "Where did my sword go?"  
  
Kaoru, noticing it still in Kenshin's hand, pulled it from his grasp. "If you're not coherent enough to speak, you shouldn't be carrying your sword around!"  
  
Kenshin stared at her, wondering what he should do. They remained there for a few moments when it started raining.  
  
"OHHHHH!" Kenshin yelled rather childishly. He ran in circles, giggling once again.  
  
Kaoru clenched her fists in rage. "FINE! YOU STAY HERE AND ENJOY THE RAIN! I'M GOING BACK TO THE DOJO!"  
  
Kenshin hadn't heard her, but instead enjoyed this newfound pleasure of the night. The tiny droplets of water amused him deeply.  
  
Kaoru turned and ran off, bringing Leprosy back to the dojo.  
  
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A/N: HEH! Leprosy is a fun word to twist around, ne? Kenshin had leprosy, but now Kaoru does. On top of that, she's bringing leprosy back to the dojo to share with everyone. LOL. Ahhhhh. This is fun. ^_^  
  
I appreciate the great reviews I have received. THANKS ALL! I'LL BE SURE TO KEEP THIS UP FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER FOUR CHAPTERS. ^_^ 


	5. Sobering up yet?

A/N: Ok. The last four chapters were kind of short, so I'm going to make an attempt at LONGER CHAPTERS! ^_^ This is my first fan fiction and I wasn't trying really hard because I didn't think I'd get good reviews. Apparently, I was wrong. THANKS! Now for a decent length chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: Well. We need the disclaimer before the long chapter, but that's beside the point. ..You know what? I don't even WANT to own Kenshin! Sure, call me crazy for not wanting to. My point is that I don't even want that much money. I don't want to own something so popular that there are thousands of fan fictions with thousands of different ideas..on second thought, that would be cool. ^_^ LOL Now for chapter five. Enjoy  
  
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Chapter 5: Sobering up yet?  
  
Sanosuke regained consciousness as soon as the first raindrop hit his face. He could here Kenshin giggling in the distance.  
  
"Oi, Kenshin." He said, laying his hand on his face. "You've lost it."  
  
Kenshin, still dancing in the rain, hadn't noticed Kaoru run off. He even forgot she was there.  
  
"I see butterflies dancing in the sky! They developed cancer, and I know why!" Kenshin began singing. "Shoot a star with a toilet hammer! Send my chimp to the world of glamour! Wish for me a dark new seashell! Send to him a brand named ski smell!"  
  
Sano stood up abruptly, and then saw the world change directions.  
  
"Woah!" Sano yelled as the ground turned. He managed to keep his balance, but was swinging his arms around to do so.  
  
Kenshin ran into the same alleyway Sano was in, still singing at the top of his voice.  
  
"Bring the water to the book! Give me the day of Captain Hook!"  
  
He stopped suddenly when he saw Sano flailing his arms to keep balance. Kenshin was highly amused at Sanosuke's attempt to stand upright.  
  
Kenshin chuckled, and then screamed, suddenly remembering something. "Where's Leprosy!? Sanosuke, do you have Leprosy!?"  
  
Sano, startled by Kenshin's screaming, fell back to the ground, head still spinning. "What kind of question is that?" he asked weakly. "Of course I have lunacy."  
  
Kenshin's expression went blank as he fell face-first to the ground. Sano had his hands planted on his face, and Kenshin was singing in the mud.  
  
"MMPPHH MPPHHH MPH MMMPPHHH" Kenshin mumbled into the ground.  
  
"Kenshin, I hear explosions." Sano attempted to bring to Kenshin's attention. "What do you think is going on?"  
  
Kenshin stopped singing and became motionless.  
  
It turned out the explosions were the footsteps of Yahiko and Kaoru walking towards them. Sanosuke's hearing had been amplified, causing the footsteps to sound like explosions.  
  
"Kenshin!" Yahiko yelled at him. "How could you do this?"  
  
Sanosuke groaned at Yahiko's extremely loud voice.  
  
Kenshin attempted to pull his head out of the dirt, but without success.  
  
Kaoru pulled Kenshin off of the ground by his hair. "You're coming back to the dojo right now!"  
  
"Hey! What about me?" Sano called out. "I can't move!"  
  
"Sanosuke!" Kaoru yelled once again. "You too?!"  
  
"I WAS drunk." He said. "But now I'm just dizzy."  
  
Yahiko walked over to Sanosuke and pulled him to his feet. "What did you do to Kenshin?" he asked, perturbed at the whole incident.  
  
"I gave him a good time." Sano stated, laughing. "Didn't you hear him singing?"  
  
Koaru dragged Kenshin, with his arm over her shoulder, to the dojo while Yahiko and Sanosuke argued.  
  
"I can't believe I have to carry YOU to the dojo. The first time I met you, I was the one being carried." She complained, yet with a smile on her face. Memories of the day she met him flooded into her mind. Suddenly, she realized something. "BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT!" she yelled, dropping Kenshin back into the mud. "WE WERE BOTH SOBER!"  
  
After Kenshin and Sanosuke were safely back at the Kamiya dojo, Sano explained the whole thing.  
  
"Well. Kenshin wanted to celebrate the victory, but I told him to be careful how much sake he had. He wouldn't listen. He kept drinking and drinking. After my first cup, I insisted we go back to the dojo, because he had too much to drink. THEN HE FORCED SAKE DOWN MY THROAT!" He looked very serious. "I was forced to drag him back here to the dojo before he did anything else stupid. I'm glad I was able to do it."  
  
Kaoru and Yahiko stared at Sanosuke, angry and confused.  
  
"WE BROUGHT YOU BACK TO THE DOJO!" Yahiko yelled, causing Kenshin to shift in the futon. "Besides, stuffing sake down a person's throat sound like something you would do! Kenshin isn't like that!"  
  
"Oi!" Sano yelled, causing Kenshin to groan in his sleep. "I'm just telling you what I remember!"  
  
"We need to let Kenshin get some sleep." Kaoru mentioned. "We'll discuss this tomorrow."  
  
"Fine." Yahiko growled, standing up. "If you don't tell us what happened tomorrow, you'll be sorry." Yahiko chuckled evilly, then left the room and headed to bed.  
  
"You know," Kaoru said quietly. "Kenshin has never been like this before. It frightens me to see him in this state."  
  
"Ah, don't worry, missy." Sano reassured her. "He'll be fine. Just give him until the morning and he'll be fine."  
  
The next morning, Sanosuke found Kenshin in front of the dojo wobbling around yelling, "Shishio has found the new sling shot of Miroku!"  
  
"OH NO." Sano said, laying his hand on his face once again. "He's not any better than last night!"  
  
Kenshin looked over at Sano and tilted his head to the side. The sides of his mouth quivered, and then rose into a smirk. "Battousai remarks are welcome whenever you're at the new location for lost forks!" he yelled.  
  
Sanosuke thought Kenshin was hopeless.  
  
"Sano, I'm sorry about last night." Kenshin finally said.  
  
"OH! So you ARE sober!" Sanosuke yelled, happy to hear Kenshin speak sense again.  
  
Kenshin hadn't heard Sano speak. "I'm sorry I told Sir Omelet about your growth defect."  
  
Kenshin fell to the ground once again, making a loud thump.  
  
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A/N: Ok, that WAS longer, but not as long as I would like. I will make the coming chapters longer unless asked to keep this length. This one is about 1000 words long. I'll try for 1500 next time. ^_^ Keep checking back and it'll be up soon. ^_^ 


	6. Jolly Green Giant

A/N: Sorry it took so long. Things are getting a little busy for me, so I don't have enough time to write lately. :(  
  
Sano is now sober, but Kenshin is still as sane as a Jamaican guinea pig. So, things can get strange around the Kamiya dojo until he sobers up.. If he ever does. Well, I guess I'll end my Author Notes and get the disclaimer over with so you can read my new-and-improved-length chapter! OH JOY! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: You know what? Maybe if I get the owner of the series as drunk as Kenshin is, maybe I can negotiate a really cheap price for the rights! I'll let you know how things go later. ^_^  
  
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Chapter 6: Jolly Green Giant  
  
Sanosuke carried Kenshin inside the dojo to allow him to get more rest. Kenshin's expression could only be defined as blank, creepy, and dead.  
  
"Why aren't you over it yet?" Sano asked the limp Kenshin after he placed him on the futon once again. "You're just as drunk as you were last night."  
  
Kenshin lied on the futon, staring blankly at the ceiling, motionless. Thoughts of silver leprechauns dancing in a mud pond flooded his mind.  
  
"Catch me lucky charms!" Kenshin suddenly yelled as he sat up.  
  
Sano, who hadn't quite left the room, stopped and turned his head hesitantly toward Kenshin.  
  
Kensin had a wide smile on his face. "Hello, friend." Kenshin said with a Scottish accent. "Jolly good day, isn't it?"  
  
Sanosuke laughed nervously, worried once again for Kenshin's sanity.  
  
Kenshin stood up and walked out of the room, leaving Sano standing near the door, highly confused.  
  
Sanosuke chased out the door after Kenshin, but lost sight of him. He panicked and ran all around the dojo searching for the drunken, Scottish, leprechaun samurai; but with no luck. The drunken leprechaun was nowhere to be found.  
  
"KENSHIN!" Sano yelled in frustration. "WHERE DID YOU GO?!"  
  
Meanwhile, Kenshin had been wandering the streets of Tokyo with his newfound accent. Along with the accent, he had found a liking to the word "jolly".  
  
"Greetings, dear sir!" Kenshin greeted happily to a passerby, who stopped to stare at him strangely. "Jolly day, it is."  
  
The passerby didn't respond, but only stared at the overly happy Kenshin.  
  
As Kenshin passed a clothing vendor, a green kimono caught his eye. "Jolly green, that is!" he exclaimed with the typical smile. "How much for the jolly kimono, dear friend?"  
  
"This JOLLY kimono is 5 yen. Take it or leave it." The woman running the shop told him harshly.  
  
Kenshin threw 20 yen at the vendor and ran off into an alleyway to change into his "jolly" kimono. As he changed, Kenshin began singing once again, but with a very heavy Scottish accent.  
  
"Cars, tarps, and cork screws; shoulders and few tunes! Cats are full of mangos, and me new lagoon!"  
  
Sanosuke, who recently began searching the town, heard the loud singing.  
  
"Well. That must be him." Sano said calmly as he stared in the direction of the Scottish singing. "What is he up to?"  
  
As Sanosuke approached the alleyway the singing was from, Kenshin jumped out in his new, green kimono. "Greetings, good friend! Jolly kimono, this is!"  
  
Sanosuke stared at him in shock. "It's..green." he stuttered.  
  
"A JOLLY GREEN!" Kenshin yelled happily as he twirled around.  
  
"JOLLY?!" Sano exclaimed. "What's so jolly about this!? It's green!"  
  
"Methinks you should calm down, friend." Kenshin told him joyously.  
  
Finally, Sano snapped. He planted his fist straight into Kenshin's face, but he didn't budge. After he pulled his hand from the dented face, Kenshin stood there. For almost a minute, he stood in the middle of the street, motionless.  
  
"Uh, Kenshin?" Sanosuke finally asked. His mere breath caused Kenshin to collapse backwards. As he hit the ground, Kenshin blurted "BUNNIES!" causing Sano's eyebrows to rise.  
  
He brought Kenshin back to the dojo and tied him to the futon.  
  
"Now you won't be able to go anywhere." Sano told the again limp Kenshin. He smirked before walking back out of the room.  
  
Two hours later, Kenshin shifted in the futon.  
  
Another hour later, an hour had passed.  
  
After four hours of sleeping, Kenshin finally awoke to discover his arms and legs tied down.  
  
"AH! THE RUBBER DUCKS HAVE INVADED POLAND!" Kenshin screamed at the top of his voice, alarming everyone in the dojo. "ALERT SAMSON! FEED THE PENGUINS! LEAD THE SHEEP TO THE MOUNTAIN OF LAZARUS!"  
  
Kaoru ran into the room to find Kenshin lashing around, trying to escape his prison of ropes. She stood dumbfounded at Kenshin's senseless screaming.  
  
"Flood the monkeys! Tell a kayak to shift its tooth decay!"  
  
Now, everybody was standing in the doorway, staring at Kenshin with their mouths open. Kenshin was beginning to turn many shades of colors.  
  
"Get him out of the ropes!" Kaoru yelled to Sanosuke. "He's going to kill himself!"  
  
A nervous laugh was the only response Kaoru received from him.  
  
Kaoru's face shone a bright red. "Fine! I'll get him out!"  
  
She ran over and quickly untied the ropes. Kenshin jumped off of the futon and stopped in the middle of the room. His eyes wide and bulging, Kenshin stared at these oddly shaped figures standing before him.  
  
"When did the spaghetti device leave Cleveland?" Kenshin asked panic struck, backing away from everyone. "Why did the German Shepard send the situation south!?" He stumbled backwards and sat in the futon again. His eyes glazed over and he let out a loud burp, then his head dropped to the side as he fell asleep.  
  
Kaoru clenched her fists. "I'm getting Megumi!" she yelled, frustrated as she stomped out of the room.  
  
Before Kaoru arrived with Megumi, Kenshin had already been wide awake and back to his typical, drunk self.  
  
"LEPROSY! I WANT LEPROSY! GIVE ME LEPROSY!" Kenshin was screaming at the top of his voice.  
  
Megumi was standing in the doorway watching Kenshin thrash about. "Oh my. It must be serious for him to wish for death!" she exclaimed worriedly.  
  
"He named his sword Leprosy." Kaoru informed her. "He's not in the right mind."  
  
Megumi continued watching the lunatic samurai. "Apparently not. I should check his symptoms."  
  
Sanosuke, Yahiko, and Kaoru held Kenshin down while Megumi went about her routine. After ten minutes of struggling to hold the frantic rurouni down, Megumi came to a conclusion.  
  
"He's sober!" she screamed alarmingly. "He's actually sober! SIR KEN IS SOBER!"  
  
Everyone in the room suddenly became still.  
  
Sano walked over to Megumi and asked quietly, "Are you sure that this crazed lunatic of a samurai, wearing a green kimono, is as sober as Yahiko?"  
  
"Is that supposed to be some kind of insult!?" Yahiko yelled in the background, unsure that it was in fact an insult.  
  
Megumi raised her head up to Sanosuke and said, "I have an idea. Go buy as much sake as you can."  
  
"WHAT?!" everyone screamed.  
  
Megumi laughed. "I have come to the conclusion that he has always been drunk, you just didn't know. This may be a result of his master giving him too much sake when he was young."  
  
Sanosuke turned towards the limp Kenshin lying over the back of the futon. "Well, if you think it'll help, I'll do it."  
  
Sano ran off into town with enough money for 50 bottles of sake.  
  
When he returned, Sanosuke was carrying four crates of sake.  
  
"I think this should be enough." He said as he placed them on the floor.  
  
"Ok, everyone. Take turns giving Kenshin large doses of sake." Megumi instructed.  
  
"He won't go for it!" Yahiko yelled. "Kenshin isn't going to sit there and let us.."  
  
Megumi had begun pouring sake down Kenshin's throat with ease.  
  
"Well, if she can do it, I should be able to." Kaoru insisted. She walked over to Kenshin and began imitating Megumi by pouring sake down his throat, but more vigorously.  
  
Kenshin sat up suddenly, spitting and choking. "WHEN DID SNOOPY GET HERE?!" he suddenly yelled. Then, as suddenly as he sat up, he fell back on the futon.  
  
(A/N: Doesn't this all seem like a game now? ^_^ It's called "The Drunken Samurai Leprechaun!" YAY! LOL.)  
  
After several hours and 4 crates, they were forced to quit.  
  
Kaoru began to worry that they had killed him, because Kenshin had not moved for hours.  
  
Kaoru began shaking Kenshin by the shoulders. "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" she screamed, on the verge of tears.  
  
Kenshin burped and a bubble rose from his mouth. It floated in front of Kaoru's face and popped. He sat up and looked around the room at everyone there.  
  
He yawned, stood up, and began walking to the door. "I'm going to take care of the laundry, Miss Kaoru." Kenshin informed her casually before walking out the door.  
  
Kaoru stared at Sano, who stared at Yahiko, who stared at Megumi, who stared at Kaoru. (Full circle.HEH. ^_^)  
  
"It looks like.. it worked" Megumi studdered. "He may not even remember anything happened."  
  
Suddenly, they heard a monstrous scream from outside. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KIMONO!?"  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
A/N: Yah, sorry about that. I can't go any further with this fan fiction. I need a fresh subject to work on now. ^_^ Ok, for those who are confused about the ending, it's one of those endings where you know what happened, but what happens from this point on isn't interesting enough to write. So get over it! ^_^ LOL. Don't worry though. I'll be sure to produce more insane fics from my compact squishy thing so neatly stored in my head. ^_^  
  
I appreciate all of the great reviews I have received. That's how I managed to continue with the fic. Reviews can decide the fate of story development, but not always. I feel like I rushed this last chapter, but I guess I'll find out how good it is soon enough. That worries me.HEH. -_-;  
  
Think about this. Kenshin is sober, he's wearing a green kimono, he doesn't remember anything, and Sano is not sure what happened either, so the truth may never be revealed to everyone. LOL. The strange thing is Kenshin is now sober after drinking MORE sake. HEH.  
  
About my plans for the disclaimer. Well, it appears that he has the same effect with sake as Kenshin does. He wouldn't negotiate a low price after becoming drunk. :(  
  
Until my next fan fic, BYE ALL! THANKS AGAIN! DOUMO ARIGATO GOZAIMASU! Gabatte kudasatte arigato gozaimashita! ^_^ If you don't understand that, don't worry. HEH. ^_^  
  
SAYONARA! 


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